2020

I'm so excited about the New Year! This is a huge year for me! I'll be 40 in August and I have a lot of goals!! 

First a look back at 2019. Here are some of our highlights and bigger moments. 

And a few of our favorite Disney pics!! (I promise I'm still going to write all about our trip soon... I finally got all the pics off my phone and onto my laptop 

so that's a good step in the right direction haha!)

I've never had a word of the year before but this year I decided my word will be Intentional. 

I've been in survival mode for years and seem to be getting lazier and lazier. I justify it by reminding myself that I need the down time to cope but honestly the mess and lack of taking care of myself the way I should is simply creating more stress and chaos around here and not really helping at all. It's not helping me, my marriage, my kids or my husband and something needs to change! 

I've never been this heavy in my life.. I wasn't even this heavy at 8.5 months pregnant (never made it to 9 months with any of my kids). I've already started on a healthy eating plan (again) but this time I've also joined a walking group and bought this awesome new health and fitness planner to help me stay motivated!!

 I need to lose a lot more than 40lbs but my goals right now are to Lose 40 Before 40 and Be Fit By 40! I don't even care if it sounds corny haha! Those are my goals!! 

I'm also planning to talk to my doctor about meds for ADD. A year or two ago I would have never considered it but lately I've realized that I have to do something. I've talked to other women with ADD who have said the meds are life changing! Being able to focus and complete a task sounds amazing to me!! I get super overwhelmed and have a hard time focusing which is a huge part of my problem when it comes to housework and keeping up with everything. I know everyone doesn't agree with meds but after struggling almost 40 years if something can help I'm ready to try it!! 

My big goal this month is to lose 10 lbs and walk 33 miles! I joined an online group called 99 Walks. After you reach your goal each month you'll receive a bracelet in the mail! I'm super excited about this and praying it helps me stay motivated to reach my goal each month! I also have a nice long Amazon and Etsy list of little rewards for myself as I reach small weight loss goals. 



I was sick the first two days of the new year so I got a late start but I walked over a mile yesterday and over a mile today! I plan to keep myself accountable by posting on Instagram, posting here as well as checking in with my walking group online and hopefully joining a smaller team too! 



What are your big goals for the year? 

Weekend Wrap-Up

Last week was busy!

The older kids were at Camp In The City every day from 9 to 4. Then the little girls had VBS from 6:30 to 8 every day except Friday. All the kids loved their camps and VBS! We went a little crazy going to so many Vacation Bible Schools this summer. It was fun but I'm glad it's over!

The little girls finished up with a program at VBS Thursday evening. Each class sang a song on stage. The girls were adorable, of course!! (Videos on Instagram). S was in the first grade class with one of her bestfriends. They were sooo cute to watch together!! 



Wednesday morning we met some friends at a movie theater to watch Happy Feet! Several theaters around here offer free or $1 movies throughout the summer. The kids loved the movie!

I worked out four days in a row last week. The older kids and I took a long walk with our sweet puppy Wednesday evening. 

Friday morning I went through Starbucks drive-thru after dropping off the older kids at camp. The little girls begged for a frappucino of their own so we compromised by asking the barista to give them sample sizes instead. They loved it!! Afterwards we had to make an unexpected stop at Walgreens. They walked in barefoot, in their jammies, drinking their mini frappucinos. I wish I had taken a pic.. they looked so cute! 

Friday afternoon Camp In The City wrapped up with a little program. The college kids who came in to work as counselors had SO much energy... even after a week of camp they were jumping around and looking all energetic ha! I wish I had half their energy! 

Friday evening we had another Sip N' Dip at the community pool! They served pizza for dinner. We got there a little late but in plenty of time to enjoy dinner and swim for a while then the older kids helped us fold up chairs and tables and clean up afterwards. I love how they pitch in and work hard at community events.. just wish I could get them to always work that hard at home too!

They actually DO pitch in pretty well at home.. when they want to. Saturday C helped me mow the lawn, weed the flower bed, trim trees and bushes and haul everything to the curb. S helped a lot too!! I sweated so much working outside yesterday I thought I was going to faint. I probably overdid it a bit but I'm really happy to have the lawn mowed, front flower bed weeded and most of the side flower bed weeded as well. I wish I had taken some before pics. We've lived here over a year now and I think this is the first time I've touched the flower bed. I've definitely got to do better! I actually love yard work but just never got around to dealing with this stuff until yesterday. I'm looking forward to planting a few more plants and some flowers. I want monkey grass or something low maintenance out by our mailbox too. 

After a busy work day Saturday I just stayed home and relaxed all day yesterday. J took the kids to church and I stayed home, relaxed and puttered around. I ended up having cramps and feeling migrainey so it was nice to stay inside, watch Hulu and not have to sweat. We didn't have life group yesterday afternoon either so it was a nice, long lazy day. 

Today the kids and I stayed home most of the day. This is the last week before school starts and we plan to enjoy sleeping in while we can! I accidently forgot all about the two older girls eye appointments this morning.. we all slept right through it ha! 

The three older kids all got their teacher assignments today! They're so excited! And C found out he is on the same baseball team with one of his good friends from school so that was great news too! 

this and that.. catching up

I got my pictures back up! I was in a panic there for a bit!

I really want to start blogging again. Things are going great around here. We're keeping busy. Lots to catch up on!

The older kids just got out of school for the summer last week. I can't believe J starts kindergarden in August and C will be in the big four year old class at his mother's day out program!

We just discovered ABC Mouse online and the kids absolutely love doing their "school work" online every morning. It's cute and will keep their minds busy this summer. :) And I don't have to come up with lessons for them. A win win. :)

Little baby S is growing so fast! She turns 4 months tomorrow! I will have her 3 and 4 month pics and updates up as soon as I can.

Hubby and I are going on a 5 day cruise/vacation in a few weeks and leaving all three kids at home. I'm both super excited about getting away and sad about leaving the kids.. especially the baby. I know she'll be fine but it's going to be so hard to be away from her. :/

I'm in a desperate last minute panic trying to get in shape and lose a few pounds before our vacation. I would wait until the last minute. Ha! I need to lose like 30 to 40 lbs but hoping I can lose at least maybe 10 before we leave. My goal is to work out every day, eat better and drink LOTS of water! I worked out with a (slight) migraine today so I'm confident I can do this if I set my mind to it! If I can work out with a headache I can do anything. :) I think I will update here as I work towards my goal.

Hope everyone's doing great! Hope I still have a few readers left. :)

back to normal?

I hope I'm getting back to normal. This past month has been terrible. It was a month yesterday since my miscarriage. I feel a bit silly for being such a mess over it but it is what it is. I've been feeling hormonal, sad, depressed, overwhelmed, devastated, angry, stressed, afraid, worried... all of it... quite a bit this past month. It hasn't been fun. I know I'm extremely blessed to have two wonderful, healthy, amazing, beautiful children who came to us very easily. But in my heart I'm also devastated over our little loss. I should be 10-12 weeks pregnant, seeing a little heartbeat, watching a tiny baby move on the sonogram, having regular OB appointments. I should be wearing maternity clothes, I should be buying baby clothes, thinking about baby names, anticipating a new arrival. I've had a lot of bad days but some  pretty good days.. then it will hit me hard again and I will have a terrible day. Last week was just surreal to me. With my own crazy emotions, then the Boston bombing, then the explosion in West... it was an awful, rotten, hideous week all the way around.



I tend to feel guilty feeling sad over my own problems when people all around have it so much worse. I'm having to learn that my story is my own. Yes, there are terrible, terrible situations all around us but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't feel sadness over my own situation or that I don't need to deal with what I'm going through.



I also feel guilty for wanting a third child when I know others are desperately longing for ONE. I feel silly mourning an early miscarriage when others have lost a baby at 20 weeks or at birth or have lost an older child. But, still, it what it is. This is my story and I need to feel and mourn, in my own way, to get through it and move on.



I want to encourage other women to mourn and speak out when going through a miscarriage.. no matter how early. People have been so supportive and understanding and it has been amazing. Unfortunately, many mothers have gone through the same thing and it's good to know my feelings are completely normal. I want to be able to support and comfort others as time goes on because I know that, unfortunately, this is a reality for many women.



All that said, it has been a (very sad) month now and I feel like it's time to make more of an effort to put this behind me. Yes, I know it will always be sad. But, these crazy emotions and hormones have just GOT to go. I'm tired of letting my emotions control me. My #1 goal right now is to get moving! I need it for my own sanity and, Lord knows, for weight loss and getting shape. I've decided I can't go from zero to full on runner jogger (well, I could be I hate jogging with a double stroller and my jogging alone time is very limited) so I am going to walk, walk, walk, walk, walk! We're also hoping to get a treadmill pretty soon so I will be able to jog/run on the treadmill at home too. But walking first. Nothing clears the head (for me) like fresh air and outdoors and a little exercise.